Crystal Maze Games That Were Too Hard To Win

One problem I've got with TCM since it came back, too many people going home with a prize. It's partly down to 50+ gold getting a middling prize but, and there's a mild spoiler for the US version rapidly approaching here so keep on reading at your own peril, out of 10 shows there was at least 3 and maybe 4 top prize winners.

A 100+ gold winner should be a treat, a rarity, there shouldn't be nearly half a series of winners. People are clearly winning too many games and earning too much time. A little conversation I had the other night started at frogs and ended up at games that were never won and as such, here's the '90s games that were never won, and should be looked at so as to stop people winning quite so often. I'm not including any of those one-off games made for a kid's Christmas Special as it's a lot easier to be an unbeaten game if only one small person has a go.

Series 1 - 1990

Nuke Defusing - A nice simple two minute game sharing a room with a nuclear bomb. It needed defusing by connecting the correct coloured wire to the associated image on the wall. For example connecting the YELLOW wire to a picture of some PAGES, or a GREEN wire to some FINGERS. The trouble comes in knowing what word was meant to be shown by the image, while it was meant to represent fingers, it's clearly a picture of a hand. With a two minute time limit, there was an explosion every time. Or the lights were turned up. Same thing.

New Additions For My Personal Collection - Publicity Photos

I recently had a stumble through eBay and happened across some more TCM paraphernalia I couldn't turn down to add to my collection. I got a set of three Channel 4 publicity stills from the 90s series, one from S3, one from S4 and one from S5 or 6. I've got my eye on some more stuff but for now I need some frames for these.

Series 3

Series 4

Series 5 or 6

Ed Tudor Pole Appearing at Whitby Steampunk Weekend This Weekend (8th - 9th Feb)

Mazemaster #2 Ed Tudor Pole will be appearing at Whitby Steampunk Weekend this weekend. On  Saturday, Ten Pole Tudor will be performing along with Alice's Night Circus and Biscuithead & the Biscuit Badgers (best band name ever) at the Whitby Pavilion.

And then on Sunday the 9th, ETP will be talking about his life and career as well as answering questions in a Q&A.Now I wouldn't expect too much talk on TCM but for me, it was the show that got me into his music. Plus with 'Swords of a Thousand Men' gaining some popularity as the soundtrack to Haven's current ad campaign, there'll be some new listeners discovering Tenpole Tudor's work. By the way, if you've never seen Aardman's "The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists!" I strongly suggest you change that.

As mentioned on the poster, outside of music he's appeared in Kull the Conqueror with Kevin Sorbo of Hercules fame and Tia Carrera from Wayne's World, Game of Thrones, played Riff Raff on stage in The Rocky Horror Show and was in scenes cut from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

A Rare In-Depth Crystal Maze Interview With Ed Tudor-Pole

Second maze master Ed Tudor-Pole is usually reluctant to talk about his time on the show, preferring to talk about his music rather than his film and TV career. A few interviews I've read and listened to over the years have all featured mentions of The Crystal Maze being moved on from very quickly. One that particularly sticks out in my memory is the one from Demon FM from 2009 which features Ed's responses to a series of Crystal Maze questions being "You've got to bear in mind I did it for 5 weeks about 12 years ago and I've only seen one and a half episodes so I'm not an expert on it" and also "Frankly I wasn't sent to this world to present gameshows". 

A King's Seal of Approval - Exclusive interview with Maze actor (Part 2)

(Continued from part one). My enjoyment of series 6 was greatly enhanced by the time I was lucky enough to spend with these two fine gentleman, as well as with the crew and the few people I’d got to know at all well, like Nick Badham. There was a wrap party at the end of filming with a staggering amount of booze on offer, while we were all treated to a highly amusing film made on the set featuring the crew, cast and some contestants. I remember that my majestic tones were overdubbed by one of the guys in wardrobe to make me sound like some colossal lisping pervert, so a great time was had by all.

I was woken at home the next day with a hangover that felt as if underground nuclear testing was taking place in my skull, to learn the sorrowful news that my father had died just a few hours before, but I know that dad was proud of me for being a part of such a famous and successful production, and perhaps even more pleased and proud had he known of the eye-watering amount of alcohol I’d somehow managed to surround the night before. I have nothing but the very happiest memories of my time on The Crystal Maze. I was elated to audition for this programme and delirious with joy when I was accepted. I’m not usually one to tempt Fate, but I told anyone and everyone who would listen at the time that I was going to appear on this iconic programme, broadcasting the good news to the Four Winds, not in the least bit worried that my part might be edited out at the last moment.

I was excited to depart for the distant set each morning and I was awestruck to arrive at the airfield, with its haunted hangar and the enthralling production homed within its walls. All the contestants I encountered were ecstatic to be part of the programme, while I got the impression that all the crew equally felt that they were part of something special as well. I was in awe of the vast, intricate and imposing sets, while the act of getting ‘robed up’ as Lance was a heady sensation, knowing that I was about to become a real, living part of a programme that had captured the imagination of the world. It was just as exciting the following year to appear as the Aztec High Priest, to meet and work with Marino and Sam, then to renew my acquaintance with David, Ed and the rest of the crew.

I have a large extended family, with many younger cousins, nephews, nieces and the like, who were all thunderstruck to learn that I was going to appear on The Crystal Maze. My neighbours were excited, as were my other friends and family, while I don’t mind admitting that I was delirious with joy to see my gauntleted hand cradling a crystal in the opening sequences. I’m the only person, as far as I’m aware, to have had two separate speaking parts as two different characters on this fantastic show, but even if this hadn’t been the case and I’d just had one, fleeting appearance, I’m sure I’d be just as contented to have once been a part of something truly lasting and extraordinary.

With the recent revival of The Crystal Maze, I am often asked if I’m going to reprise my part as Lance or else as the Aztec High Priest. Well, to paraphrase Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard, I’m always ready for a close up, but failing that happy eventuality, I continue to bask contentedly in the warm glow of my former thespian triumphs. It would be very poor form to hog the limelight, as I also had a small part as The Barker in the pilot episode of The Magic Carnival, which was planned as the successor to The Crystal Maze, but my photographs of my time on that particular set were lost in the fire that destroyed my home last year. A small part of me sometimes thinks that it would be great to appear once again in The Crystal Maze, but what will be, will be, and I wish nothing but happiness and great good fortune to all those involved in the programme’s latest incarnation.

In conclusion, I’m not sure that I can add a lot more to this account of my part in the story of The Crystal Maze. When I was invited to compose this piece a few days ago, I glanced at the Wikipedia page for The Crystal Maze, something I’d not done in years, and I was mildly surprised to see no mention of either Lance or else the Aztec High Priest. I’m not remotely bothered by this, not least because so many other people played more lasting and important parts than mine in this production, but I know from long personal experience how many people the world over are fascinated with the historical details of every aspect of this wonderful show. I hope that in writing this brief essay and in supplying some photos, that I’ll have satisfied the curiosity of anyone who’d ever wondered about these minor characters, and if you’ve derived any enjoyment from reading this account, then I’ll be very pleased.

- Dennis Price, Actor - The Crystal Maze (Series 5 and 6, 1994/1995).

Original Series Crystal Maze Games Designer and Fan

"I Designed Games for the Original Crystal Maze"

One of our Blog Contributor's is Phil Newton-England. Our very own Phil designed a variety of games for the Original Series starring both Edward Tudor-Pole and Richard O'Brien. He is also a big super fan like the rest of us on this blog. He was voted as Challenge TV's No 1 Crystal Maze Fan. (I'd argue that with him, but he designed the games so he has one up on me!). Phil in the 90's had a dream job, that was to generate ideas and draw plans up for games to be built for the cells. The games themselves were built by Artem.

A highly imaginative and rewarding job, Phil put forward his plans and four of them were accepted and built. He designed the Hazard Symbols game in Futuristic (Above). This is the game in which a Meteor Storm happened to strike the Futuristic Zone, which featured pretty cool Special Effects of sparks flying around the abandoned Space Station. The game involved placing no two like symbols in adjacent spaces in a metal frame. 

Phil said: "I was 19 years old & remember getting home after work and switching on the TV. I saw this strangely dressed, bald-headed guy showing these people around a medieval castle...and locking the odd one or two inside. I thought ‘What is this weird show?' It was like NOTHING I’d ever seen before. Checking the TV guides it was called The Crystal Maze - from that moment I was hooked. ‘When’s it on next?’ I asked. Next Thursday 8pm my VCR was set to record this wacky, way out show (& yes...I still have the original airings recorded on VHS tapes in my wardrobe.

Phil-Newton England, Original Games Designer

Well, after watching & loving the show for 4 years my mind decided in a dream to place me, as a contestant, in the maze itself. I played one game unsuccessfully. The following morning I sketched the game I played on a piece of A4 & for some strange reason decided to mail it to the producers at Chatsworth TV. (I didn’t have emails & interweb back then).

They wrote back saying it was a great game but a bit too similar to one that had already appeared on the show. (Which to be fair, it was). They also said if I had any more game ideas they would like to see them. I got pen to paper & came up with eight new game designs.

Inspiration For The Games Inside The Crystal Maze

I drew inspiration from things I saw around work and out on the streets - people trying move certain objects from one room to another, parts of machinery that looked like they could be some part of a puzzle. I eventually sent my 8 designs to them & after various ‘phone conversations it was decided they would use 4 of the games I’d created for Series 6.

Build the Clock Face - Ocean Zone

These were the ‘no matching hexagons’ (Future), Ship & Cubes, Build the Clock Face & match the Octopus Tentacles (All in Ocean Zone, my favourite zone) the latter game appearing only in the kids special.

I was paid a one-off fee of £500 as I was told they alternated each year between payment or on-screen credit. They later asked me for some more ideas for series 7, which I started working on-but, unfortunately, the show was then de-commissioned.

I still have some of the unused game designs from back then & have since created another 60+ all locked away in a water-tight container & buried in the Aztec sands for Future archaeologists to find.

Built a Boat - Ocean Zone

Phil added: "As a little thank you, I was given one of the ROB era original jumpsuits (red) & 2 game crystals which now form part of my private collection, alongside my Crystal Maze fruit machine, all the puzzle books, board, LCD & PC game, jigsaws, original medic jacket (from series 6). I also decorated my old bedroom as the maze & Dome."

Tentacles, as used only in the 1994 Christmas Special