Crystal Maze - and a possible way to explore... in D&D?

Whilst the UK is feeling the struggles of being locked in at home, people like myself who need to escape somehow to help manage their mental health, have taken to playing Dungeons and Dragon's as a means of escaping to fantastical worlds and leaving modern comforts behind in the form of role-playing gaming.

With the crews of Critical Role, High Rollers, Acquisitions Inc. & Force Grey all enjoying playing their games whilst broadcasting them to Twitch & YouTube platforms, interest in the game has grown massively, especially with the growth of the digital toolset "D&D Beyond" providing a quick, easy way to manage your character, uptake has never been higher!

Traversing the Crystal Maze is much alike to D&D, as you and your band are lead by the Dungeon Master across strange lands, handling the people of the land and helping them out, and solving devious and dangerous puzzles.

Of course, Dungeons and Dragon's has a connection to the Crystal Maze in the form of
Reckless Rick, yes, Mr O Brien!

 

Who Are Next Week's (December 17th) Crystal Maze Contestants?

Another week down and another episode aired, enjoy it? Good. Well there's another one next week and if you aren't sure who's on, or if you do know but have no idea who they actually are, keep reading.

An Unexpected Item of Mail from Richard O'Brien

I came home from work this afternoon and saw an envelope with a New Zealand stamp, an Air Mail sticker, and my address in strangely familiar handwriting. I had suspicions that the letter was from Richard O'Brien, after all, he is the only person I know of who resides there. I said to myself "Nah, surely it can't be". I excitedly logged onto the maze fan group to tell everyone and then opened the envelope carefully. Inside was a lovely autographed white card reading "Stay Safe Neil and never give up".  This was a beautiful message from the Maze legend himself. I was overwhelmed by it really. He even hand wrote my full postal address on the envelope. What a guy!

The Crystal Maze USA Starts Tonight at 7pm on Nickelodeon UK

 Morning, just a quick one. Wanted to stick a reminder out into the ether that the American incarnation of The Crystal Maze is starting tonight (September 4th) on Nickelodeon US. We reviewed the first episode after it aired stateside but for most of us, that is the only episode we've seen so we'll get to enjoy it show by show just like we would any new series. 

The show's hosted by TV personality and comedian Adam Conover, if you've never seen him before go and watch some 'Adam Ruins Everything' clips over on YouTube and prepare to lose several hours of your day. 

Nickelodeon is available in the UK on Sky, Virgin Media, TalkTalk, and on NOW TV's £4 a month kids package

'Game Shows I Suppose' Covers The Crystal Maze, with @jordha

Podcaster, comedian and 'lonely nerd' (his words, not mine) Jordan Hass has been talking about game shows on his weekly podcast 'Game Shows I Suppose' since 2018. He's clearly got a love of the genre and has covered shows from both sides of the Atlantic alongside a range of guests. A great example to me is talking 'Big Break' with Ben Paddon, whom I once randomly had a game of 'You Don't Know Jack' with, which really caught my attention because I met Ben in the same town where I once annoyed Jim Davidson, it's a small world after all.

Jordan has long mentioned his love of everybody's favourite Channel 4 adventure game show on GSIS and today sees the drop of his TCM episode. It's just over 100 minutes of a guy talking about his favourite British game show so if you like/love/have heard of TCM: subscribe, put the kettle on, put your feet up, play Fall Guys, and have a listen.

Jordan can be found at -

• jordanhass.com
• twitter.com/jordha
• twitch.tv/JordanGames
• patreon.com/jordanhass

Newest Addition to the Collective Crystal Collection

Good day fellow Maze fans,

It's a very exciting day at Superfan HQ today, as we take delivery of another authentic TV crystal, one that was formerly a gap in our collective collection of crystals. The crystal is from the revived series and is one of the crystals from the podium in front of the dome. These are different from the crystals played for in the games only due to the lack of logo from the base, as this would have affected the light shining through it from the podium.

Fantasy Casting a Future Crystal Maze Team - @Ashens @paulgannonshow @elisnoid @MrBiffo @larrybundyjr @octav1usking @mrbarrylewis

Yesterday in the course of tweeting, something came up that had me rueing a missed opportunity to have something on TV I think people would love to see. Or at least I would anyhow.

I did enter us all in @barshens a few years ago, but never heard back

— Mr. Gannon (@PaulGannonShow) July 26, 2020

I apologize in advance as this bit of fantasy casting may go on a bit, but for the last few years there's been a group of collaborators whose work on YouTube, and on a podcast I've mentioned more than occasionally, has got me through some more trying times. I know it's a bit cliche but laughter is the best medicine and this lot never fails to elicit a chuckle or at least a smile out of me every time I go looking for their content. These are simply a bunch of fun entertaining people I'd love to see taking on the games of The Crystal Maze. Bickering, shouting at each other, and just being as entertaining and fun as I've always seen them. I'll be listing more than 5 names here but it's fantasy casting, my writing, my rules.

Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout - Fortnite meets Takeshi's Castle

I'm going to put it out there straight away. I hate Fortnite. From the moment Epic saw PUBG and said "This Fortnite game we've got going on, let's just ignore our initial idea we've put out there already and copy theirs" I've stayed well clear of the streaming favourite. I might just be old fashioned but I like my games to have a story, to draw me into a well-realized fictional world, and occasionally just have me turning zombies and Nazis into jam. When it comes to battle royale games, the concept of a load of 10-year-olds hurling abuse at me, killing my character with zero effort, and claiming intimate knowledge of my mother has simply never appealed to me.

Final List of Celebrity Names for The Crystal Maze's Next Specials

Now that the episodes which haven't aired yet on Channel 4 have broadcast in Australasia, thanks to our commenters we have a complete list of names for what Channel 4 will be calling the next series. A clip with almost all the following names can be seen at the bottom 

(Thanks Danker1990 and Phillip)

The Crystal Maze PC Game - I don't want to be harsh, but there's no other option really

In general, I will praise and adore all Crystal Maze memorabilia. Whether it's the board games, the jigsaw puzzles, the thermal reactive mug I had made, the press photos that I've been getting extorted for on eBay, I love it all. I'll big up The Crystal Maze Challenge by Neale Simpson any day (still available digitally for £3.99)

However, The Crystal Maze PC game is the most infuriating bucket of arse-gravy I have ever played. And I played, and completed, 'Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness'. Twice.

Good News! More Crystal Maze Incoming! Bad News! Not in the UK!

In 2017, three episodes never made broadcast. We'd been oversaturated with the same games over 20 episodes and so only 17 got to TV. It's happened again. 

Last year's episodes we haven't seen yet are to be aired on Australian children's channel ABC ME. They've been airing all of last year's episodes and will get the shows we haven't seen yet before we get them.

So, whos coming to Australia with me?

What do you mean 'pandemic'?

@BothersBar Remember how there were those three civilian Crystal Maze episodes that got shown in Australia but not the UK?

Looking like the OTHER unaired Crystal Maze episodes with the celebrities are going to start airing in Australia next week, on a different channel. pic.twitter.com/LBBzcSvFSO

— Captain ACAB, BA* (@TheGrimRecapper) July 3, 2020

My Trip Last Year to Test Out Games For The Crystal Maze

I've been sat around pretty bored of late. I keep ending up on eBay buying Crystal Maze related paraphernalia (more on that lot in another post for another day) so I thought I'd distract myself by recounting my travel last year from the North East to the South West to test games for The Crystal Maze.

I'll start by saying I don't drive, but thankfully we've got pretty good public transport covering the length and breadth of Great Britain. 

So...

Step 1 - Home to Middlesbrough: ~15 Miles. 

This stage is the easy bit. It's a trip I make not uncommonly. I went to Uni over there so it's somewhere I'm familiar with. At this time, McDonalds was doing Grand Big Macs so naturally, I had to go gorge myself on one in my usual combo - large meal, Big Mac, Fries, Strawberry milkshake. They should do GBMs more often because that meal kept me fed for the rest of what would be a long day. The meal in bag in hand, I head back to the bus station to wait for my first coach. I didn't take it on the coach, food in my possession rarely stays uneaten for long.

Step 2 - Middlesbrough to Leeds: ~65 miles

Getting Into Game Show Streaming inc. The Crystal Maze PC game

I'm a life long gamer. Since I first tore open a present of a Sega Master System 2 with built-in Sonic the Hedgehog (8-Bit version, bit different to the version everyone's familiar with), I haven't stopped. 

If you've got a PSN account, I'm 'Spudgun20', come say hello.

I recently got a new laptop which, unlike my past computers, doesn't soil itself trying to do anything more complex than minesweeper so I've been playing my old PS1 games via some emulators and I figured it could be fun to stream said games. 

As such, at twitch.tv/spudgun20 I'm going to be playing games such as 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire', 'The Weakest Link', 'Jeopardy', and a whole host of other older games on Twitch. It'll be mostly game shows but not exclusively, e.g. I've been rediscovering the game for The Italian Job. Chat'll be open, I'll get the old Crystal Maze PC game going, you can enjoy a relentless torrent of bad-control based failure.

If you know of any other game shows turned into games then let me know below. For now I've got TCM, Blockbusters, Weakest Link, Jeopardy, and Millionaire but I'd love to grow that list.

Follow me at twitch.tv/spudgun20 and say hi!

P.S. was setting my streaming up, looking for sound effects, and I found the ultimate clip of Chris Tarrant doing an alternate take for a voiceclip for a PC WWTBAM game (Some swearing within):

Crystal Maze Repeats on TV, No-One Told Me It Had Been Going A While

Before I get to Crystal Maze getting repeat airings, could you give these lads a 'like' each, please: 

 

 

Now that little bit of admin is out of the way...

Two Key Members of the Maze Blog, And as Such Crystal Maze Superfans, Shortlisted for The Crystal Maze Live Experience Superfan Competition

"These old doomsday devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are."

- Professor Farnsworth

Great words by a great man, and words we can all live by I'm sure you'll all agree. But another great quote of his, far more relevant to anything going on today - 

As you may have guessed from the overlong title, two of our number have been shortlisted for The Crystal Maze Live Experience's Superfan competition. 

Crystal Maze's Mumsey in America Alongside Fred Willard

Comedy great Fred Willard passed away at the weekend. You may remember him from roles in This is Spinal Tap, Anchorman, Modern Family, Everybody Loves Raymond and much, much more. Our thoughts go out to his family.

This got me on the hunt for footage of him from a comedy show: "An Evening at the Improv". I'd seen it a while back and the clips I was after are, I think, now set to private. So after a bit of hunting around through Reddit, this clip came to my attention this morning that I had to share.

Fred Willard hosting, and doing a skit with Sandra Caron. Her name may not be familiar but you know the face. This ought to clear up who she is for anyone unsure -

Mumsey/Auntie Sabrina worked on stage with the late Fred Willard. This clip is from 1981 so it was 9 years before she was seen sat behind her crystal ball with a smoke machine under the table. Should I find another clip of them, I'll be sure to share.

Crystal Maze Games That Were Too Hard 2: 2 Hard 2 Crystal

Ok, I admit it, that title is terrible. I apologize and I promise I'll never do anything that atrocious again until the next time I do it.

Following on from my last post covering all the '90s games that nobody won, I just wanted to have a quick look at all the games that have been used since Richard Ayoade took over which saw nobody walking out one crystal heavier than how they walked in.

Before I start, for reference and photos I'm using David Newton's website www.crystalmazedatabase.com. Much like if you want '90s show details you use Marc Gerrish, David Newton is who you can rely on for revival stats. Marc and David are to adventure game show fans as Stanley Gibbons is to stamp collectors. I only know that thanks to The New Statesman, I've been really ploughing through the boxsets lately.

Crystal Maze Games That Were Too Hard To Win

One problem I've got with TCM since it came back, too many people going home with a prize. It's partly down to 50+ gold getting a middling prize but, and there's a mild spoiler for the US version rapidly approaching here so keep on reading at your own peril, out of 10 shows there was at least 3 and maybe 4 top prize winners.

A 100+ gold winner should be a treat, a rarity, there shouldn't be nearly half a series of winners. People are clearly winning too many games and earning too much time. A little conversation I had the other night started at frogs and ended up at games that were never won and as such, here's the '90s games that were never won, and should be looked at so as to stop people winning quite so often. I'm not including any of those one-off games made for a kid's Christmas Special as it's a lot easier to be an unbeaten game if only one small person has a go.

Series 1 - 1990

Nuke Defusing - A nice simple two minute game sharing a room with a nuclear bomb. It needed defusing by connecting the correct coloured wire to the associated image on the wall. For example connecting the YELLOW wire to a picture of some PAGES, or a GREEN wire to some FINGERS. The trouble comes in knowing what word was meant to be shown by the image, while it was meant to represent fingers, it's clearly a picture of a hand. With a two minute time limit, there was an explosion every time. Or the lights were turned up. Same thing.

Another 30th Anniversary - An Excuse To Mention Denis Norden

In February we covered the 30th anniversary of the start of The Crystal Maze so today I just wanted to mention it's 30 years since that first series ended. The last episode of series one went out on the 10th May 1990. It was the last show broadcast to be filmed at Shepperton Studios and it started with an outtake that they left in the final cut, a moment that wouldn't have been out of place on Denis Norden's 'It'll Be Alright On The Night'.

Today is 30 years since the last episode of series one, and it opened with this little outtake which they kept in the final cut pic.twitter.com/mXq8Wmcm8y

— Crystal Maze Fan Blog (@maze_blog) May 10, 2020

 

Series 4 Episode 4 - Laughter in the face of failure (w/ Behind The Scenes Clips)

There were 83 episodes of TCM in the 90's, including kids specials at Christmas, and of all of them there's one that stands out to me. People have suggested reviewing every episode and, whilst a good idea, that means 83 reviewing covering roughly 80 hours of material. However this one in particular is a show I want to give a bit of attention to.

First shown on 15th April 1993, S4E4 contained a record that remained until Richard Ayoade took over. And whilst that record was achieved in now standard 10 games, 27 years ago they didn't have a fixed amount of games to play, it was just however many they could squeeze in. Series 4 each episode had either 14 or 15 games and I'm talking here about a 14 episode show. I'm talking about the fewest crystals achieved by a team, in this case, one.

Wendy, Andrew, Dave, Hilary, Spencer and Jane